Some of, if not all of this blog post, may, or may not be a work of fiction…except for the parts that really happened.
Kong looked up. He hadn’t been aware of Me. Mistake #1. This was going to be fun. He started in My direction. Mistake #2. Then, as He got almost within arms reach, out comes His little revolver. BINGO! Mistake #3. It was a S&W Airweight .38 special. Fine little piece, and most certainly stolen from someone that knew their weapons, cause this guy was holding it thrust out like it was contaminated with Ebola virus. He definitely didn’t know weapons.
“So, like I asked, You 2 fellas wanna make some cash?” Kong finally spoke in a tense, high pitched whine,”Yeah. Why…You got money?” “Not yet.” I said. “But I will before the night is over. I’m gettin paid to do a job, & I need a little help.” I could see the wheels turning behind Kong’s beady little eyes. I almost had Him. Time to set the hook. I brushed My menu to one side, to reveal 5 crisp C-notes on the edge of the table. Kong unconsciously moved closer, even though his feet were still in the same spot, & His eyes lingered on the money like & hungry Lion stares at a gazelle. Almost there. My hand was still on the menu, & I still had My .45 under the table. I wasn’t going to need it.
He spoke again, without taking His eyes off the money. “I thought You said You didn’t have money?” “That’s not money,” I said. “That is pocket change. It’s Yours, if You decide You’ll do a job for Me.” He immediately started to reach for the money, & while doing so, I nudged it off the table. Just as He was about to say they would do it, & before He could utter,”OK” I switched hands with My .45, & grabbed his .38 in My left. In one movement, I cracked Him in the skull, just behind His left ear, & He crumpled to the floor like a sack of shit. All this took place within about 3 seconds, all while His cohort, Chicken Little, stood slack jawed. Believe it or not…Kong was the smart one.
I spoke to the partner in a command voice,”The door…USE IT.” He dashed out the door into the night, & was gone. I didn’t care. The ice cream was melting on My pie. I reached down without getting out of My seat, & liberated Kong’s wallet from his jeans. He was still breathing, & that was good. No need for a death investigation to stall me here in the middle of nowhere.
I motioned at the Cook to come out, as He had just peeped around the corner to see what the racket was. “Drag this deadbeat outside.” I said. “Then do whatever You want with Him after I leave.” He nodded, & without saying a word, drug Kong’s carcass outside. I got up, walked to the counter, & grabbed My piece of pie. The nice waitress was still frozen in place, so I said,”excuse Me Ma’am. Could I get some more of this killer coffee?” She snapped out of it, & hurried over with the coffee pot. “No rush.” I said. “The pie is awesome.” She half smiled, and replied,”The fella that came from the kitchen makes them. He’s a great cook.” I finished My last bite of pie, patted My stomach & said,”Thanks for the great service.” She still had a bewildered look on Her face as I opened Kong’s confiscated wallet & looked inside. There was a five dollar bill inside, & I snatched it out. Paying for My food was the least He could do, for being such a pain in the ass. I laid it on the table, & started for the door. As I walked by the counter, I laid the little S&W on it, & tossed the wallet in the garbage. They needed the little Smith more than Me. I pushed open the door, & as I walked through it, I heard,”Hey Mister..what’s Your na”….& the door closed behind Me.